When you commit to a relationship you want to see it fully through, at least I know I do. This means working to save your relationship through tough times and being open to therapy. It can help!
The first step towards truly wanting to save your relationship is opening yourself up to doing whatever you can. Restrictions create barriers which prevent growth, so let them go. Then consider a simple question that everyone facing relationship issues must ask. Can you save your relationship with therapy?
If you feel as though your relationship is on the verge of breaking, then ask yourself truthfully whether therapy can save your relationship. Do you and your partner want to make the effort? Are you both ready to talk? It’s essential that you first acknowledge how bad your relationship has gotten, then you can accept your need for outside help. Many people seek therapy and many successful relationships were forged by diving head first into an outside perspective.
Growing together forges strong relationships
You hear it all the time, we grew out of love. We grew apart. These are extremely common reasons for relationships to succeed and/or crumble. Learning to grow together is essential for building a strong relationship, and it’s totally understandable if you’ve let this part of your relationship slip away.
If you’ve decided that you can and want to save your relationship with therapy, then it’s essential to re-learn how to grow together. Getting an outside perspective on this will completely change the way you look at your relationship. Dan and I find that we consistently have the same argument. We know this, so we’ve learned to talk it out and change it. I can imagine how difficult it would be if we were unable to talk these things out and work through them together. It would drain our relationship.
Let go of your singular view
Letting go of your perspective is super hard when it comes to your relationship. The little things consistently build up, and if you don’t know how to let them go and learn from them, you’re not going to grow as a couple. This is when the outside perspective of a therapist is imperative to helping you let go of your perspective and gain a new one.
Remember that when it comes to therapy and saving your relationship, you have to put in the work. It’s not easy. Think about a “perfect” relationship you see, whether it be a family member or a friend. If you ask them, they are going to tell you that it’s hard work to maintain that “perfect” relationship. Making sure that you consistently grow together means listening to your partner, letting go of the small things, and consistently changing your perspective. Successful relationships are not all about you. They are about you as a part of a couple.
The work is worth it
The above is a really important issue and one that people often let go of or dismiss. When two people become a couple and become synonymous with one another, it’s because they’re able to form their relationship as a couple. But they also keep their individual identities. This is imperative and it takes a lot of work, but in the end it’s worth it.
It’s okay if you’ve lost your way in your relationship and it’s okay to open yourself up to someone from the outside helping you. That’s when therapy can save your relationship. Make sure that you and your partner both want to save what you’ve built together. Make sure you’re both willing to do the work and open yourself up to a new perspective. Then relax and see how your relationship will flourish.
Photo credit to collaborative CBT
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