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Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating

 

First and foremost, I am a fan of online dating. Not because of how easy it is to set up a date, but because it gives you the unique ability to just be yourself.

When you meet someone in person, there is always a bit of awkwardness at first because most people who online date are not that smooth. Granted, that dynamic is changing, so more normal people are using Plenty Of Fish, OK Cupid and Tinder. With that being said, I have been a member of all those sites with my personal favorite being Tinder.

No matter what online site you use, for men and women, here are things you should NEVER, and I do mean never, do.

 

Love at first swipe.

Love at first swipe.

 

PHOTOS:

First of all, you may think you are being cute with the high angle selfie shots that cover up the fact you are fat. You are not. In fact, it is false advertising and according to the Lanham Act, it is illegal.

You should be mandated to hold up a recent magazine, or at least an iPhone 5s, to be eligible and show size. Yes, I’m sure you were 110 lbs. at some point in your life, but apparently not now. Just do the straight on shot. Guys may be stupid, but we are not that oblivious.

 

I bet her internet pictures were amazing.

I bet her internet pictures were amazing.

 

Men, we are probably no better. While the shirtless selfie mirror shot was cool when it first came around, it is now cliché and most women are not fans of it. So much so that quite a few women have taken pains to say they do not like them directly.

If you really want to take a good shirtless photo (pending you have the abs to do so) try at the gym or the beach. It makes you look way more modest. Also, if you are debating posting a picture of your car or truck, don’t. Just …… no.

 

DESCRIPTION:

Ladies tend to make a laundry list of qualities they want their men to have, which is fine. In fact, I prefer it that way. Simply list what things a man should have that you would be interested in. Most guys can appreciate honesty and being direct with what you want. If you wouldn’t want that guy talking to you at a bar, why would the internet be any different? I stand at 5’8″ and if a girl who is 5’10” doesn’t want a guy shorter than she is, ah well. I move on with my life and realize she is not for me and vice versa.

The problem arises when women do one of two things.

1) Make lists that are unrealistic and only 1% of the male population can actually achieve. I don’t care how hot you are, you’re not going to find a six-foot lawyer, doctor, Cross Fit champion humanitarian who donates to the local food shelter and owns the hottest night club in Manhattan. Be realistic.

2) Be too romantic and write short stories about themselves and what they are looking for in a man. While that is all well and good for a creative writing class, this is the internet and we all have ADD. Make it short and sweet and that’ll give you something to talk about later. See what I did there?

For men, your issue is the exact opposite. You have to write something. Anything.

Try to include one paragraph of what you have done or what you want to do. It shows that you are intelligent; that you are able to properly write a sentence correctly. Just a hint, everyone thinks they are a genius and if your writing suggests a difference to that, it probably will not happen. Then again, if your profile pictures are nothing but shirtless workout photos, I’m going to assume you don’t need to be smart.

 

YOU HAVE A MATCH:

Lets assume you have a Tinder match or whatever. Now is the time to send a sentence to show your interest. Tread carefully.

One word replies or misspelled phrases are big time mistakes. If you’re going to write something, think of it as what could spark a conversation. If you think of it like that, you will be okay.

From what I have heard from women, it’s the whole “hey” “yo” or uncreative opening lines that are boring. Besides, that can’t be a line you use at a bar, right? How can it be?

Ask about a photo they posted, or something that they clearly have an interest in. Go with that, but please write it like an adult. If you use TTYL, F my life, or anything else that is an acronym accepted on the internet, I assume you have yearbook club after your field hockey practice and don’t have time to properly spell out your words. You’re an adult, act accordingly.

 

Do you know what all of these mean? I do not.

Do you know what all of these mean? I do not.

 

It’s really not that hard to online date, and in some regards is much simpler than doing this in person. While I still prefer chance meetings, internet dating is slowly becoming the norm. Might as well embrace it and do it right.

 
 

 

Photo credit to clipart and the internet.

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